Shark Attack
Well, far-fetched as it may sound, the very wise folks out in Amherst are correct — unlike the Puerto Ricans in the play, actual Puerto Ricans do not burst into song on street corners and engage in knife fights using herky-jerky balletic dance movements. And it’s about time somebody admitted it!
Yes, it may have taken 40 years or so, but I’m glad the savvy drama department in Amherst has finally blown the lid off this "beloved musical." And in the nick of time, too; had the performance gone on as planned, I’m sure that prolonged, musical riots would have ensued, finger-snapping would have run rampant and pleas of "Keep it cool, boy!" would have no doubt fallen upon deaf ears.
For those of you unfamiliar with "West Side Story," it tells the tale of two rival street gangs, the New York Jets and the San Jose Sharks, who clash because they are different, and also because they all wear really tight pants, which makes them cranky. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this show, but I think I’m remembering it correctly.
Even a casual viewing of the musical demonstrates clear discrimination against the Puerto Rican gang, the Sharks, because they don’t even get their own theme song; the Jets, meanwhile, get to do a very catchy number that features the line, "Here come the Jets, yeah, and we're gonna beat, every last buggin' gang on the whole buggin' street, on the whole ... buggin' ... ever ... lovin' ... street ... Yeah!" I rest my case.
I will admit that the Sharks, while clearly stereotypical, could have fared much worse; frankly, Officer Krupke really takes a hit in this thing. But that’s neither here nor there.
(It’s interesting to note, by the way, that "West Side Story" is an update of Shakespeare’s "Romeo and Juliet," which itself is actually fraught with some pretty negative stereotypes of Montagues. And the friar and the nurse don’t come off so hot either. Memo to Amherst: Time to nix that Shakespeare festival.)
As someone who participated in his share of musical theater in high school, I regret being too naive at the time to recognize the political incorrectness inherent to some of these productions. That was before I went to Tufts and learned that the best way to avoid offending someone was, when presented with a group or idea unfamiliar to you, to run back to your dorm room and drink beer.
Anyway, back in high school I was in "The Pirates of Penzance," which I now realize was extremely unfair to pirates. It only makes sense, as Gilbert and Sullivan were notorious anti-pirates and, if I’m recalling my theatrical history correctly, spent most of their waning years organizing anti-pirate rallies and telling offensive jokes that ended with the punch line, "That was no parrot, that was my wife!"
But the number of musicals rife with negative stereotypes is not limited to "West Side Story" and "The Pirates of Penzance" — not by a long shot. In fact, there are several musicals that Amherst should cross off its list of future productions right away, or risk provoking the ire of one special interest group after another. To wit:
· "Annie," offensive to orphans.
· "Oliver," also orphans.
· "Cats," to cats.
· "My Fair Lady," Liverpudlians.
· "Oklahoma," men named "Curly."
· "The Sound of Music," Nazis. Also nuns.
· "Grease," anyone with taste.
And that’s not to say we shouldn’t be wary of some dramatic works as well; I’ve never seen that "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," but I suspect it’s not very friendly to aluminum siding salesmen.
Yes, when it comes to finding a politically correct high school production, everything is most assuredly not coming up roses. But luckily, as long as there are schools like Amherst High, we won’t have to worry about being offended by such negativity.
Now, if we could only get rid of those last few copies of "Huckleberry Finn" we’d be all set.