A Dad Who Really
Makes the Grade
In honor of this milestone, I thought it would be appropriate to mention just a few of the many things I’ve learned from my father over the years. You know, besides “Electricity doesn’t grow on trees!”
1.) Patience. My father is a patient man. I know this because he taught three teenagers how to drive, and never once did I see the little veins in his forehead pulsate like a burrowing groundhog. Rather, he’d repeat this little drivers’ ed mantra: “Maintain your speed up the grade.” Even as I’d be driving down the wrong lane, cars flying at us, my side-view mirror knocking over mailboxes: “Maintain your speed up the grade.” To this day I’m not sure what it means, but it was very soothing, like a CD of nature sounds.
I think he was prepared for the driving lessons by the fact that he’d already taught us all how to ride bicycles, which in my case entailed running up and down the street next to my bike, holding onto my belt loop … for an entire summer. (This is in direct contrast to my sister, who apparently didn’t share my balance issues — I think she came out of the womb peddling a little Huffy.) At least in the car Dad got to sit down, even if he was in constant danger of being driven into the statue of Sybil Ludington in the town square.
2.) No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get: NEVER GO INTO RETAIL. While other kids’ parents were warning them about drugs, my father was saying “Just say no to slacks sales!” But while Buddy Brooks Men’s Wear provided its share of headaches, the store he owned for 20 years in our hometown of Carmel, N.Y. did serve a purpose; for instance, it provided gainful employment to every social misfit who attended Carmel High School between 1974 and 1993.
And now that I’m in management, I realize how much I learned from watching my father during my summers working there. For instance, my father wouldn’t make anyone do the dirty work in that store — be it cleaning the bathroom, taking out the garbage, lugging boxes, whatever — that he himself wouldn’t … make me do. So I’m hoping to try that one out on my own son in a couple of years.
3.) Always cut the bagels and doughnuts in quarters, that way everybody can try a little bit of everything. You’d be amazed how much of a difference this makes.
4.) You’re never too old to pretend to be playing an inflatable guitar at a family function. (Self-explanatory.)
5.) And a few others worth mentioning, like the value of treating others with respect so they’ll do the same for you; the fact that you can assemble almost anything if you study the directions long enough; that community service is a good thing, even if it means having to get up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning to polish a stature of Sybil Ludington; and did I mention about never going into retail?
Oh, yeah … and that if I followed his lead I could be a pretty great father. I’m still working on that one, but in the meantime, Dad, happy birthday — and thanks for helping me maintain my speed up the grade.